Tommy's thoughts

Well, the time has come for a change. From now on, the blog will be found at http://tisaksen.blogspot.com . Hopefully you'll like the new design! :)

The streets are flooding with drugs and people don't seem to anything to hide their drug use. My neighbor is a really good example. He's actually growing his favorite plant in the back of his yard! And he walks around with the final product in his mouth without caring whether the cops notice it or not. It's easy to see that the fool is addicted. It's also easy to see the effects of it. I've never seen a guy as screwed up as him. He's barely able to tell what day it is and on top of it all he's trying to dress like a real gangster, with sunglasses and a cap and whatnot. He thinks he's so fucking smart too. He doesn't know shit. He's actually tried to offer me some of this magic plant, but I've told him straight "hell no". At least he ain't alone. The city's crawling with drugs. Even within the fine police. Enough about these fools now.

It hasn't exactly been a dance on roses since I came back here to visit my brother. This town is a real nightmare. It appears everyone has access to guns, even babies! And these people don't even hesitate pulling the trigger. I was out walking one evening, and a businessman accidentally bumped into the car of this young man. Well, any normal person would have solved this by talking. Insurance, you know. Guess what though? This young man, he just pulls out a Uzi and pumps this guy full of led. He drives off and leaves the businessman with a new color on his car: blood red! It's insane. I guess I could have called the cops, but most likely they were spending some quality time at any of the city's many brothels. They seem to have this great patrolling route you see. It goes between Arnold's donuts and the brothels. And this is what our taxmoney goes to! Real swell, ain't it?

So it turns out this wasn't the most idyllic and peaceful place to spend one's vacation, but I've already spent most of my savings on airline tickets here and my plane doesn't go back home until two weeks. I guess I'll just have to try to make the best out of the situation.

If things stay as they are now I'll soon have to keep some Molotov cocktails inside my jacket pocket. Just in case.

Merry x-mas and a happy new year to all you thousands of people who read my blog!



So the holidays are pretty much over and it's back to the harsh reality of normal weekdays. People return to work, a bunch of people rush to different shops to return the x-mas presents that just didn't live up to the high expectations, others are finally allowed to leave the hospital after being pumped (after drinking way too much!). C'est la vie as the arrogant, wine-loving French would say. "That's life.". Others, on the other hand, keep reading and doing homework even during x-mas. I know, I'll try to get a grip.

I'm quite satisfied with the way x-mas went this year. My biggest fear was that we wouldn't have any snow on x-mas eve, but we were in luck: The Weather Gods created some fine snow for us (even if only a little). I think I need snow to get in the x-mas mood. Last year I spent x-mas in Japan, which was very different from how we do it up here. To my surprise it actually did snow there, but not too much, and it didn't feel much like x-mas at all. On the other hand, maybe I simply didn't get into the x-mas mood due to lack of x-mas music. I mean, there might have been x-mas music, but my Japanese isn't very good, so I wouldn't know. I like the traditions we have here though: x-mas music, santas everywhere, x-mas marsipan, x-mas cards, x-mas chocolate etc. I love it! It definitely helps to create the right mood. Snow is however, crucial! It's simply a must. I believe snow is the very soul of x-mas. X-mas without snow is like x-mas porridge without cinnamon and sugar.

So, dear readers, what did YOU get for x-mas? Did your wishes come true? I'm pretty happy myself. I got a number of items, thereamongst socks and an Axe gift package. Now these are the presents that you basically find under the tree every year. It's a weird tradition. My favorite gifts this year, however:



*Four photos from the trip me and Marjukka made to Norway last summer. Now these are all framed into one frame, and it all looks quite beautiful to be honest! Some of the photos have even had a little make-over in a photoeditor. This is something that can finally spice up the boring wall in my apartment. The only thing I have on the walls these days is a clock and my precious Norwegian flag. I just wonder how I'll be able to transport the huge frame to Helsinki without it taking damage.

*A sandwichgrill or toaster or whatever you people cadll it. Finally I can make toast again. French mustard, ham and cheese for the win! Yummy.

*Robbie Williams - Feel. The best Robbie biography on the market, according to a lot of people. The book consists of about 700 pages with a lot of gossip and truth about Britain's biggest artist ever.

Besides opening presents I've been drinking "glögi" and eating gingerbread as well as great x-mas food. The only thing I miss is turkey. Now that would have been awesome to eat at New Year's eve, but we settled for grilled sausages as well as tortillas. It was pretty good, I just wish we had more of it! Last night we also went to the sauna, and I even dared to go into the cold lake for a dip (so-called ice bathing). It was pretty cosy and all, the only thing that sucked was the weather. Two plus degrees and a very wet weather. I wish it was colder and that we had more snow, instead of stupid ice!

During the last few days I've had the chance to speak Norwegian seeing as Hanna (Marjukka's sister) got her boyfriend from Denmark over here for x-mas. Sometimes it's very hard to make any sense of Danish, and I still believe Swedish is much easier to understand. If everybody just spoke Norwegian, probably the most beautiful language in the world. ;) Anyway, it's been nice to get to know him, and sometimes we speak our mother tongue and leave the others wondering what the hell we are talking about. Though it should be mentioned that they can actually make some sense of it since they know Swedish!

So it's finally december. You can easily tell it's Christmas just by going to any big mall these days. They've prepared alright, with hundreds of Christmas songs playing over the speakers constantly. I wouldn't be surprised if grandmas think they've ended up at the wrong place the moment they walk through those doors and are blinded with all the light coming from different stuff, such as the decorative lights and Christmas trees. It's almost like one would actually be in Santa's workshop at the North pole (or in Finland according to some people). Within this commercial jungle are hundreds of desperate people looking for presents, and offers seem to be everywhere; discounts on everything from christmas cookies to 40" flatscreen TVs. Sure it's all cosy and nice, with the exception of the annoying sales persons you are bound to bump into around every corner. Another thing I dislike is the people strategically placed throughout the mall, and in absolutely every mall, especially around Christmas, handing out flyers. It's damn near impossible to steer clear of them. I bet a lot of careful planning is the reason for this. Sometimes I manage to be rude and walk past without saying anything, other times I just shake my head. Unfortunately I'm too weak most of the time, so I end up accepting everything they have to give, and what do I end up with? A friggin' huge tower of flyers (discounts on socks and advertisements for L'oreals new shampoo). I simply can't say no when they stand there with their pepsodent smiles and lit up eyes.







It's been like this for years though and I do think that Christmas is more aimed at kids than grown-ups. When one is young Christmas seems more magic; you are young and naive and believe in Santa Clause. Later, however, this illusion is destroyed the moment you walk into your parents bedroom and find daddy (still in his 24-hours rent Santa costume) on top of your redwine marinated mother. I mean, that's how some kids find out! Kids are so enthusiastic about Christmas and most of all they anticipate all the great presents they are about to get. Well, I guess even the older generation does that, but it's tuned down a bit with age. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind Christmas at all, it just feels a bit different as you age. Who knows how it might feel like when you have kids of your own one day? According to psychologists one can re-experience childhood when one has kids of one's own. Besides, there is a lot of great things about Christmas too; Christmas cookies, good food and a good excuse to sleep way too much. For many people Christmas also offers an excellent opportunity to meet family and relatives. Adventcalendars are fun too, I remember that from when I was young (oh gosh, now I sound terribly old here!). I haven't had an adventcalendar in years now. I guess it just seems too childish nowadays. I would probably have put one up on my wall if I would have had one though


So far only one thing is missing this year: Snow. That's just part of what makes Christmas so magic; the white blanket covering Mother Earth's landscape. It's also the reason as to why many prefer spending their Christmas at home, in -25c instead of escaping to overfilled beaches at Gran Canaria. Others escape to Tahiland to get physical pleasure on the other hand, but that's totally different topic! I hope I didn't ruin your Christmas mood now. Back to being serious: I really do hope snow shows up soon. I don't fancy all this rain and grey, wet landscape.

Alright, that'll have to do for now. I've got this image in my head that people don't have the energy to read my posts if they are really long. The only ones who seem to do that is my geography teacher and my fiancee. Thanks to you two for that though! Next week I'm going with Marjukka to Stockholm, something I'm really looking forward to. It's a nice change from all the exams and tests I've had lately. I do hope Santa reads my blog and make sure that we have some snow before Christmas Eve at least.

I'll probably be back with a post before Christmas Eve. Why don't you enjoy some Christmas cookies meanwhile?

np: Bob Carlisle - Christmas Shoes. *Sigh*. What a beautiful song. Thanks to Sami for making me aware of it.

The following is just song lyrics, so you don't need to read it if you don't feel like it, but it is beautiful! At least it moved me. :)

Lazyness would very well describe the week that has passed. Everybody has this image of me being sorta geeky, and reading all the time, which in fact isn't that far from the truth. This week however, I haven't actually read much at all. One reason might be that test week sorta ruined me mentally. At least to some extent. On the other hand, my fiancee came visiting me on friday (over a week ago), but she left today. While she was here I didn't feel like studying that much (duh!). Now there's just two guys in this apartment; me and my friend. I'm sitting here drinking in front of this magnificent piece of technology they call the computer, and my friend, well...he's lying exhausted and tired under the table. Don't worry. It's not as bad as you think. I'm just talking about my four-legged friend. I took him for a little walk a while ago, and little dogs like himself often get exhausted after even the shortest of walks. It has its positive sides though, I most likely won't be hearing him stepping on the floor like a madman in the middle of the night, which he actually has a tendency to do sometimes. Needless to say, it can be very annoying!


So the dog was left for me to keep. I don't mind at all. As a matter of fact, it was my proposition. It can often get lonely here during dark winter evenings, and what's better than having someone here to share ones sorrows and joys with, the ups and downs in life? I only wish he'd give richer responses than his small barks. But at least he's trying. Rome wasn't built in seven days, neither was a dog's capability to learn human language. A dog really is a humans best friend. Although I have personal problems understanding how dogs can ever be really happy. They have such small joys in life, how do they avoid depression and prozac? Their tiny joys include food, sleep, pissing, pooping, walks outside and the climax: to go crazy on a dog of the opposite sex 'till one reaches the point where the testicles are burning red! Maybe we can learn something from our four-legged friends? It's the small things that matter. We complain as soon as we don't get cheese on our sandwiches or if we have to manage one day without TV. Dogs have smaller brains than us, so could that be why they are happy with things as they are? Maybe they simply think things are as good as they can possibly be. I think it's a good thing though. We wouldn't want a dog rebellion, now would we? Think how restricted they are: They only have a simply apartment as their playground (no going to bars or to other countries on vacation). They are surrounded by the same walls every day. The same scenery. Their little cage.





Enough with the jokes, I agree. I'm perfectly happy with my dog. He's a funny little guy who's favorite hobby is digging out delicatesses from the garbage bin in the kitchen while I'm not watching. What a smartass. A positive thing however is that I'm forced to go outside when he's here. I get a tiny bit of exercise at least! I don't want to wake up with poop and urine on the carpet, so I sorta have to take him out. And it would be inhumane not to do so. Imagine waking up to the furious smell of poop and urine drilling its way into your nostrils. Quite far from paradise, eh? Oh well, it hasn't happened for a long time now. It seems it only happens in situations where puppies are involved, or in situations where the dog has been served chili con carne. No matter how tight you can squeeze your butt muscles; it's hard to keep chili con carne from exploding out the "backdoor". So take this as an advice: Don't serve your dog chili con carne!


School again. I never seem to be able to avoid that subject. It's a nice way of making the post bigger though, it adds at least one extra paragraph. My test week is behind me, and it went quite well, except for the mock exam in Biology, which didnt' go all that well. The only thing that sucks now is these exams I have ahead of me, it makes me a nervous wreck. I can openly admit that I don't handle stress that well, so I walk around like drug addict with PMS these days. That aside, my biology practical exam kinda went to hell as well. I find some comfort in the fact that I have a much better shot at passing the Finnish Matriculation Examination next spring, and I'm also looking forward to a trip to Stockholm in December, with my fiancee. A romantic little boat trip. I've always liked Sweden: It's relatively cheap over there, they sell hot dogs on every street corner, and Swedish is an easy language to understand for us Norwegians, so you rarely have any problems with that.


As I mentioned in the earlier post, I was going to that Poets of the Fall concert, and indeed I went there. Not alone, no. With three friends of mine. The concert was really good, the only boring thing was having to wait two hours in front of the stage before the band showed up. I don't know if that's how they usually play it, but I found it quite boring, and since the crowd behind us kept growing, it was hard to get any more drinks from the bar. Oh well, at least I got more and more sober as I waited for the band to come. When they finally came they played many of my favorite songs, so I'm quite happy with that, and my friends had a blast. It was their first POTF concert, but I think we might end up going again sometime in the future seeing as it was so much fun!

This is a piece of writing I did in an English test, and I got an A for it. Well, actually it's just the opening to a story, but hope you enjoy!







The sound of hungry seagulls woke him up, and the smell of fish even more. His green, worn-out jacket was dirty and smelled of expensive drinks. Suddenly someone opened the old, wooden door and the light from outside blinded him momentarily.

"Get out of here, you bum!". Two young men approached him, grabbed him by his arms, and threw him out of the boathouse. The sea was lying in front of him, with its secrets and beauty. But that beauty could be fatal! "How easy wouldn't it be to disappear like that?" he thought. "To take one last dive into the cold blue?".

It started five years ago. They had been so happy; she was doing well at work, and he was an aspiring lawyer. Hell, they were even expecting a family increase!

The October was merciless that year, though. During that single night their life, dreams and happiness were crushed, like a photograph and its frame being thrown on the floor and shattered in a thousand pieces. No glue could fix the damage, not all the glue in the world.

From there on, he felt dead inside. The coldness and frost had a tight, firm grip around his heart. He knew it wasn't right, but at that time, it was the only comfort he had. It used to be someting he only did on special occassions, but now he felt like a car with an empty tank; he needed the Smirnoff and Bacardi to function. It was his fuel. It killed him, but it also kept him alive.

The seagulls mocked him before they took off. The asphalt was hard, and had left some wounds on his elbows. Blood dripped off them, and stained his jacket.

Topless girls, cheap drinks during the happy hour, it was hard to remember everything about the night before, but there were some good moments. It had become one of his joys during the last years; watching naked girls while at the same time drowning his sorrows in a thousand bottles of beer. That is, those times he managed to find clean clothes in some garbage bins. Because he did sometimes, and when he did, he went to one of the sleazy bars in the city, sort of snuck in, and sat in the dark corner watching them. Young, sexy and curvy young girls. He knew he wouldn't have a chance with them, not in the state he was in.

Suddenly he heard the sirens of a police car howling somewhere nearby. "Are they looking for me because of what happened last night?". He felt guilty. You can try to escape your problems, but they will still taunt you in your hour of weakness. He jumped into a big, rusty container and hid under the trash. His pulse rose, and his hands were trembling.

After hiding for a while, the sounds of the sirens became more and more distant. They disappeared , and he crawled out of the container. "You can't live like this. Things can be fixed". But could they? The skies gathered together, and there was nothing but darkness and coldness in the sea, and in the skies.

"Oh, look at you! How long have you been here, and what's happened, Michael?" There was a trace of care in her eyes, but he couldn't quite place her...yet.

Filled to the maximum with warm, tasty minced meat, flavoured with so much spice that you're at risk of setting the curtains on fire after consuming one, coloured with red and green (paprika and cucumber) to make the meal have good looks in addition to tasting magnificent! And to top it all; a little mountain of creme fraiche on top of it all. Can you say R E L A X A T I O N?

Sometimes it really is awesome to just totally chill out, to lie on the sofa and watch American comedy series while knocking down unhealthy food without a guilty conscience! I love it, especially in moments when you feel you've actually deserved it. A little hedonism surely can't be that bad of a thing, I mean, why should one deny oneself pleasure here in life? I am just doing this to celebrate that the horrid test week is over. *Phew*. I've had 8 tests now, and it hasn't been all that easy. I've actually looked forward to this day for some weeks now; the day where I can eat as much unhealthy food as I want, the day where I can sing karaoke in my own living room, in the middle of the night even, while my teeth are bathing in a sweet acid bath courtesy of the coca cola company!

I simply think days like these motivates one to study and work hard at school. At least that's how it feels from my point of view. Since I know I can look forward to a nice day like this after a test week, I put in some extra effort and school and after the test week has ended, well, then I simply enjoy myself. Enjoyment! I encourage other people to do the same; if you feel you've put in a lot of effort at school (basically worked your ass off), spoil yourself! Go to the cinema, order some pizza to be delivered on your door, run naked through the neighbourhood, do whatever the heck you want!

Downer. Yes, they exist. In my case there is a downer ahead as well, but it's not something I can't live with. It's just that I have some upcoming exams: English, Finnish and Biology. And the latter one is without a doubt the most challenging one. As a matter of fact, I've already got my practical biology exam next week. The positive thing is that theoretical biology, as well as the other exams, well, they are still a few weeks away. So there's still time to learn everything there is to know about polypeptides and mRNA and cytosine and whatnot!

I have some confessions to make. I have witnessed horrible things lately. I have, believe it or not, been a witness to over a hundred carcrashes during the past weeks (in some cases I actually saw the poor driver fly out of the front window and into a sign a few metres down the road). It has been chaotic, and I'm left with an impression that the traffic out there isn't as safe as they want you to believe it is. Instead of crying and having traumas however, as most people would, I'm afraid to admit that I've thoroughly enjoyed it all! I've laughed so hard, and I have in many ways encouraged the drivers to hit the pedeal and uphold the situation.

Before you call a mental institution, you ought to know that I'm simply talking about Flatout 2 (the car game), and not real life. Yes, I admit it. I've spent some good hours in front of that game during the last weeks, and it's been a lot of fun. Now that it's getting dark and gloomy outside you need hobbies, and I can't think of any hobby that's more fun than crashing into your best friend in a car game, watch the crashtest dummy-looking driver fly out of the window with a scream, while you hit the pedeal like a madman so you can still drive over him! *Demonical laugh*. One can find enjoyment in the smallest things...

Other positive things: My fiancee is coming here this weekend, and our little dog is accompanying her, lovely. And on saturday I'm going with some friends to a concert, and not just any concert, but to the Poets of the Fall concert (shame on you if you haven't hard about them). I'll probably come with some feedback about the concert at later point.

In other news: I think the new Robbie Williams album is kinda interesting, even though there are definitely some weird songs on it! Some songs you wouldn't expect good ol' Robbie to ever make. But hey, can't blame a guy for being creative.

np: Robbie Williams - The Actor

"Deep down you're dirty but you try (I'm a good person), the truth would break you so you lie."

Yeah, something new is happening on this side of the web. I am soon turning 23, and I suddenly got fixated on changing the look of this blog a bit. Hopefully to something better. Come back in a while, and judge for yourself!